Growing in Grace

We have a houseguest with us for a while this summer.  A young man from church who is helping us with all kinds of things around our home.  I got the notion to move everyone to different bedrooms and to paint each room in the process.  We also had a few trees cut down a couple of months ago and those logs are still cascaded around the yard.  On top of that there are a few thousand little things that always need done but never make it to the top of the list.  So, he’s helping me catch up this summer as much as possible before we get back to the regular school grind.

Tonight we ate dinner at my parent’s house and after the meal, we were chatting while the kiddos and dh watched Clone Wars on television.  My mom pointed out something that I had not noticed.  She said that I used my ‘company voice’ when talking to R and that I used my ‘family voice’ when talking to everyone else.

Now, everyone is familiar with the concept of a ‘company voice’.  Sometimes it’s your ‘business voice’ or ‘telephone voice’.  You know, when you’re yelling at the kids, the phone rings, and suddenly you’re syrupy sweet to the person on the other end of the line.  And, I really wasn’t aware that I was using my ‘company voice’ with R.  In fact, I was trying not to make much difference between him and the other kiddos.

But, evidently I was making a difference enough for my mom to notice :(

Which got me thinking…

Shouldn’t I use my ‘company voice’ with everyone?  The ‘company voice’ is more polite, more patient, more friendly, and less crabby.  It is more gentle and kind.  It isn’t harsh or annoyed.

If I choose to be more kind toward a subset of people, shouldn’t that be the most important people in my life?  Shouldn’t I offer my best to my family, and not to ‘company’?  The most lasting impressions of my life will be left with my family and those closest to me, not with those who pass through momentarily.  Yet, those passing acquaintances are the people who often get to see me with my best foot forward.

What a disservice that does to my kiddos and my dh.

My prayer tonight is not that I will begin treating our houseguest with less courtesy than I have been, but that I will improve my attitude toward my own kiddos.  That I will treat them as well as I treat company.  That there will be no discernible difference between my ‘company voice’ and my ‘family voice’.

Filed under: Life with Jesus on June 28th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

I was a guest reviewer on my friend, Janis’ blog, The Nearsighted Bookworm, this week.

She has asked me to review some of the non-fiction works that she receives and I’m really excited about the opportunity!

Check it out!!

Filed under: Adult Reading Nook on June 26th, 2009 | No Comments »

Today we were out most of the day and at around 4:45 turned down our street on the way home.  I had two little ones sleeping in the back and everyone else was hot and tired and grumpy.  As I made my way toward our driveway, I noticed two Mormon missionaries walking down the road just a bit up from my house.

Now, in the past, I have avoided Mormon missionaries as much as possible.  A quick, terse dismissal of conversation at the doorway…or even avoiding the door altogether and just letting them leave unacknowledged.  In fact, simply seeing them walk down the street has made me sigh and silently hope that they would turn the other way before reaching my driveway.

But, today was different.

Over the past couple of years, I have watched some lovely Mormon ladies interact with mostly Evangelical Christians on a online forum.  They have been steadfast in their beliefs and gracious in explaining misconceptions to others.  While I do not agree with their beliefs and in fact believe them to subscribe to false religions teaching, I have learned to see Mormons as more than just ‘cult members’.

So, today as I watched these two young men walk down my driveway, I remembered that they are someone’s son.  And, if they were my son, how would I want them to be treated?  Would I want them shunned or cursed or even avoided?  Probably not.

They were extremely polite and kind - offering to help clean out my car and later offering to help with some painting we are doing.  I brought them each a glass of ice water and we stood outside talking for over 30 minutes.  Both young men are far from home - one is from San Diego and the other from Portland.  And they are nearing the end of their mission.

We talked about families for a while and then we talked a bit about their beliefs and religious practices.  I asked some questions and they were well versed in their responses.  They believe much of the Bible and have a good foundation of Biblical knowledge.

I explained that I was grounded in my faith and would not be a convert, but that I had enjoyed talking with them.  They asked if they could pray with me before they left.  I said yes, then surprisingly, they told me that as it was my house, I could choose who prayed and that I could be the one to pray if I preferred.  I did prefer that and was happy to pray for them before they went on their way.

And, I prayed sincerely for these two young men who are being more proactive for their faith than most evangelical Christians these days are.  I prayed that God would go with them on their mission and that they would have His protection and guidance on their travels.  I also prayed that the light and truth of Jesus Christ would be revealed to those whom they encountered.

I know that their prayer during that time had a different meaning than mine, but I trust that the Lord God Jehovah understood my intent and my desire for these men.

And, later tonight, I spent some time in prayer for them individually.  They are sincere in their faith.  They are interested in following the Lord’s calling on their lives.  They are committed to walking out their beliefs.  I believe that their faith is misplaced, and I prayed that the Lord would reveal Himself to them in a very real way causing His truth to be made evident.

In addition, I prayed that they would flag my house as a home which is kind to them and willing to talk with their missionaries and offer a cup of cold water on a hot day.  I welcome the opportunity to be a reflection of Jesus to them.  And I pray that the Lord will give me His words and actions each and every time ‘those missionaries’ walk down my street.

Filed under: Life with Jesus on June 18th, 2009 | 5 Comments »

We have a DVD player in our car.  When we first got it, I loved the idea that I could pop in a movie and the kiddos would have video entertainment any time I needed them to be occupied.  Now, I could take or leave it and when I am driving, it is off more often than not.

There is a 6 DVD changer and basically the same 6 DVDs live in the car all the time.  If I get to choose, I always pick Toy Story.  We have seen it enough that I know what is happening even though I can’t see the screen.  Plus there is enough humor that appeals to adults that it entertains me as well as all the littles.

You’ll have to indulge me a bit now as I realize that the following commentary is about a children’s movie and that the characters are in fact fictitious talking toys.  Bear with me.

It was playing the other day and dh was driving.  He commented that parts of the movie were sad because Woody realized how selfish he is.

I had *never* thought of Woody as selfish.  I would have listed a dozen oher adjectives to describe him, but never selfish.  He is working the entire movie to get back to Andy.  To bring Buzz back.  To get back to his friends and family.

But, really, most of his actions in the movie, from the time Buzz arrives until the end at Sid’s house, he is working to further his own cause.  His every decision is driven by a self-centered motive.  He wants top billing in the toy box.  He wants ‘his’ place on the bed.  He wants authority, position, and attention from not only Andy, but also from the other toys.  He is really a self-absorbed jerk.

I am like Woody.

I want things to go my way.  Pretty much all the time.  Even when I seem altruistic, there are often selfish motives behind my actions.  Of course, not always, but sometimes I am looking for my own benefit when I am doing good for others.

I want to be in charge and I want to call the shots.  I don’t like to play second fiddle in certain situations.  If someone comes in pushing their way into ‘my place’ I may not say anything, but my feathers will probably be ruffled.

How opposite of what I am supposed to be.

I am supposed to consider others above myself.  All the time, not just when I’m feeling generous.  I am supposed to give of myself cheerfully and genuinely.  Not so I can set myself up for later gain.  It is *not* all about me.  Even though I forget that sometimes.

Philippians 2:3 explains my job very simply:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition of vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition.  It doesn’t matter what I am hoping to accomplish personally.  Instead, I need to place myself, voluntarily, beneath others.

There will always be someone smarter, more accomplished, more educated, more successful, and so on, than myself.  If I place value in my position…at church, with friends, at home…I will be threatened and disappointed when those people come along.  if I place value on others and work on considering them above myself, I will not be threatened by others and can instead spend my time showing Jesus to them.

Or I can waste my time defending my position.  Wrestling for my place on the bed and striking to at anyone who might get to go to Pizza Palace without me.

No eternal good can come from that kind of selfishness.  As much as I like Woody, I really don’t want to be like him.

Filed under: Inside My Head on June 13th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Today I was at a local Christian bookstore and as I was checking out, the employee asked if I’d like to enroll my kiddos in their summer reading program.  Despite my lack of follow through most of the time, I like the idea of reading programs - library summer reading, Pizza Hut Book It, etc. - so I thought we should try it.

He explained in great detail all the facets of the program from the discount on children’s books at their store to the grand prize drawing in September.  It really sounded good, although a bit complicated.  I took three packets and was placing them in my bag when he added the last bit: “The difference in this reading program is that the books all need to be Christian books.”

Hmm.

Now, I hold that they have every right to run their promotion as they see fit.  They are giving the prizes, they can make the rules.  But, there was just something about that that didn’t sit well with me.

Not that I have anything against ‘Christian books’.  I would say that well over half of the books on my shelves are Christian books…probably closer to 80% or more, really.

And, in fact, if he had said that the qualifying books have to be available at their bookstore, I wouldn’t have had a problem with it at all.

But, something just bugged me about the way it was worded.

There are loads of books that have value even though they aren’t published by Tyndale or Zondervan.  There are books that teach morals and upright character without ever mentioning God’s name.  Just because an author or character in a book doesn’t espouse Evangelical Christian perspective, it doesn’t negate any good that they may do.A book doesn’t haev to be a ‘Christian’ book to be worth our time.

I know that I am reading far more into the employees statement or intent that was ever intended to be there.  That is why I will encourage the kiddos to color their cars and track their Christian books they read this summer.  I just wish that more people who claim Christ would see that everything which doesn’t bear the label ‘Christian’ is not automatically bereft of value in our lives.

Filed under: Inside My Head on June 12th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Several months ago, I was feeling much better than I had been for most of last year and decided to take myself off the anti-depressants.  Wrong move.

For a while, a long while, even, I was fine.  Nothing seemed too out of kilter and I was coping well.

However, for the past 2-3 months, things have been headed downhill.  May is usually a very busy time between the school year and church year winding down.  Summer is typically a slower paced couple of minths, but it is an intense sprint to get to that rest time.  And, spring took its toll on me.

About a week ago, I realized that I was actually feeling just as bad as I had been last year before seeing the doctor and there didn’t seem to be any end in sight.  Worst of all, when I’m like this, I am extremely cricital of everyone, mostly the kiddos.  They are never able to meet my (unrealistic) expectations and begin to have a terrible self concept.  They are too young to understand that what they get from me isn’t accurate and that they are in fact highly valuable and loved despite my attitude that seems to be to the contrary.

So, in a move not only to rescue my own dwindling self-concept, but to protect them from the negativity that seems to ooze out from me, I went to the doctor today to revisit medication.  Instead of the ob/gyn, I opted for the family practice doctor.  Evidently this is something that will need to be monitored more than with a passing comment at my annual ob/gyn exam.

The doctor was extremely nice and ordered bloodwork to check my thyroid and iron levels in case that was part of the problem.  He also gave me instructions to start a regular exercise routine because I have completely gotten away from that.  In fact, after losing about 22 pounds on Weight Watchers, I’ve put about 12 of that back on in the past 2 months. So, maybe that will help me with the motivation to get back to it!  And, he did give me a new Rx for anti-depressants, with a follow-up visit in two weeks to see how its going.

This is a more complete approach than before, but I certainly don’t fault my previous doctor for that.  The ob/gyn treated this as a ppd issue that didn’t have other causes.  Since it is no longer likely to be related to ppd, I believe that this approach now is going to be great.  Provided I don’t decide that I’m fine and no longer need help.

I told dh that God is going to wrestle ‘control’ from my hands every time I try to pick it back up.  I tell my kiddos that I hate repeating myself…I’m sure glad God doesn’t feel that same way.

Filed under: Day to Day on June 11th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

As I’ve had a few minutes here and there, I’ve done a few paper crafting projects.

Mother’s Day gifts for my mom and grandmothers were photos combined with patterned papers and embellishments.

We got the big boys’ basketball photos from the photographer recently.  I didn’t want to just stick them in frames.

Dd wanted a picture of her own for her room once she saw the pictures of the boys.

And one more, just for fun.

Filed under: Creative Notions on May 19th, 2009 | 3 Comments »

We went to Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago on kid’s night and there was a clown who painted faces and made balloon animals.  The kids enjoyed it and the next day I pulled out a face painting book that I’ve had on the shelf for months.

I had fun :)

Filed under: Creative Notions, Kiddos on May 17th, 2009 | 3 Comments »

I have been away from here for a bit and have struggled with continuing to blog.  I even considered closing down shop and giving up the website.  But, tonight, I received some great encouragement from a friend about my writing.  Not that I’m looking for validation, because that’s not why I write, but still, it is nice to hear occasionally.

“Scattered” is a great way to describe my thought processes as of late.

I’ve been bogged down by my home in recent weeks.  When I get behind in housekeeping, I struggle with staying focused and effective in other areas of my life.  I go to bed with an unfinished to do list and I wake up behind the 8 ball.  So, I’ve worked toward better organization at home this week and last week.  I’ve taken bags to the thrift shop and still have more culling of closets to go.  I’ve condensed furniture in some areas and I found us a new piano!  We got rid of the television downstairs and I even culled through some of our school materials and books.

Planning is my forte, but follow through is more difficult.  So, I’m trying hard to make plans that I can easily accomplish instead of grandiose ideas that never make it off the paper.

My mind is wandering toward next school year and we still have about 3 weeks left of this year.  There’s that lack of focus again!  I’ve debated continuing with Konos or switching to TOG.  I know that TOG is in the future for us because I need something that is adaptable to a wide age range.  So, the question is whether I want to jump in now or wait a year.  Plus, I’m trying to wrap my mind around some different approaches to teaching reading.  And, dd officially joins the mix as a registered kindergartener.

The end of the school year marks a busy time at church and this month is no exception.  We leave for a weekend retreat tomorrow and are taking over 40 adults and kids to Gatlinburg until Sunday.  I am really excited!  VBS is coming soon and that is another great adventure just around the corner.  Granted, the next couple of weeks are going to be quite hectic, but it will all be worth it!

So, I’ll continue to wrap my mind around all that’s going on here and I won’t give up on writing.  Plus, I have a few people who keep on the lookout for family pictures and schooling updates and I’ll throw those in as best I can too.  Thanks for the encouragement not to slip softly into the night.

Filed under: Day to Day on May 15th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Saturday night dh and I were packing candy bags to give away at church Sunday morning.  While we were stuffing bags, dh was recounting fond memories of his childhood Easters when he would always get a basket filled with candy and gifts from his mom.  She is superb at gifts for holidays that I typically don’t do well with.  Valentine’s, Easter, Halloween - we can count on a package from Nanny.

So, when I ran out of candy for the bags and had to run out anyway, I decided to pick up stuff for baskets for my own kiddos.  On Saturday night.  After midnight.  Not the best plan, but it did work out and they awoke to baskets full of candy and gifts from us.  Now, they can tell their spouses about the awesome job their mom did on Easter morning :)

Each year I use Easter as a time to get some decent family photos where we all look our best and even match.  When the big boys were little, I dressed them in either identical outfits or at least coordinating outfits.  Now, we pick a color for everyone.  Usually, it’s green or blue.  This year, green.

Easter Morning

With the Grandparents

Our Family

Candy, egg hunts, good food, family, fun, and most of all the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection made for an excellent Easter this year!

Filed under: Family Ties on April 17th, 2009 | 2 Comments »